A heart that has been broken and seen pain, reveals a crack that allows more light in.

I hope it’s ok I get a little raw and real with you today…

I used to always think that you’re supposed to get married and live happily ever after.

But then I found myself at 31 getting divorced after just a few years of being married. What happened and what went wrong? It was devastating. Can you relate to the feeling of doing everything that you were “supposed” to do and then feeling that lack, that something was missing, that you were stuck. I discovered most of this was due to the fact that I didn’t know myself well enough to attract the best partner for the real me.

After a break up getting on an app gives you a sense of possibility.

After recovering from devastation I entered back into the dating world which had changed drastically. Tinder did not exist before I was married. Getting on the app gave me a sense of possibility and made me feel like I wasn’t alone with this new sense of community among other single people.

Soon after I learned the art of defensive dating from Mama Gena. When you meet the guy who checks off all the boxes and decide that you must have him.. enter defensive dating and do not put all your eggs in one basket. Accept as many offers as possible learn to receive and have fun in as many different ways as possible so you’re not conditioning yourself to rely on one person.

For the first time ever I was discovering myself, what I desired, and my own pleasure.

On top of dating I learned to receive from myself as well. I got dressed up and took myself on a date, by myself, just for the fun of it! Favorite restaurant, favorite food, favorite drink, just an epic date for myself. (On this self date I ended up meeting an amazing guy who I enjoyed spending time with!) I’m not joking – I started shining from the inside out, and not only that, I started meeting amazing new people to spend time with and grow.

What I want to encourage here if you’re single or at a point of breaking in your relationship is for you to start getting out there in as many different ways as possible (obviously not going on other dates if you’re in a relationship), because expecting everything from one person aka your partner can be dangerous.

I’ll leave you with this, take yourself on a date, make plans with friends, self care in whatever ways fill you up the most!

xo Stephanie